In the winter of 2010, I was in Kheng Buli, wishing if someone could offer me meals and a shelter for the night.
I was heading home from school for the winter vacation and was left with only Nu.50 in my pocket.
But no one came. So, I went under a dilapidated cowshed having a packet of magi for dinner. It was the longest night in my entire life.
I woke up with the break of dawn; stiff and cold. Yet, determined to make it at home, I pressed on, each step feeling like an uphill battle.
The dwindling energy of my magi breakfast left me questioning my ability to cross the mountain.
When I was about to give up in the mountains, a herdsman appeared and invited me in his herdsmen hut.
The food he gave was delicious though looked like remnants – very cold and quite stale.
I thanked him and continued my journey.
In the evening at home I felt so different. I was so appreciative of simple things around me – blankets, house, fire, mom’s cooking etc.
Now I realize how this experience is totally relatable to how we perceive money and wealth in life.
Happiness is a Relative Feeling
Nothing can make us happy unless we’ve first experienced the problems or unhappiness of not having it.
The best water we will ever taste would be a glass of water when we are thirsty.
I had privileges of dinning in Taj Tashi Hotel of Thimphu, KL Tower Hotel of Malaysia, and MBS Hotel of Singapore.
However, none beats the experiences and happiness of having that stale cold food!
It’s the same case with money.
When I had Nu.50, even Nu.500 could have made me feel the richest. My account went from 0 to 20k with my first salary. I felt the richest!
The amount doesn’t matter much. It’s the difference from the comparison base that does. We keep on changing that base.
Just Compare with Yourself
My account balance going from 0 to 20k won’t make me feel the richest if I compare with Sonam whose account went from 0 to 30k.
Bhutanese rushing Australia these days isn’t that they have nothing. They feel they have less looking at others.
There is a wisdom in ‘comparison is a thief of joy’ sentence. Comparison has always been reason of our stress, low esteem etc.
Happiness Can’t Last Forever
The 3rd glass of water won’t be as good as the first one even if you’re so thirsty.
The second plate of momo at my favourite Zombala Restaurant doesn’t taste as good as the first piece.
All of a sudden, going from 0 to 20k won’t feel so amazing after knowing Sonam did 0 to 30k.
On the first day home after long time, mom’s cooking taste great. In few days, they aren’t great at least like on the first day.
We quickly adapt with new levels or situations. We are victims of hedonic adaptation. Diminishing utility fails to stop our insatiable desires.
Once the basic needs are met, the value of money decreases as per the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
We must be after contentment and not happiness. Contentment is an art of seeing blessings in our realities.
Therefore, this experience is a piteous reminder that a true fulfilment in life doesn’t come only from money and riches.
It lives within moment of connections, gratitude, and the appreciation of life’s simplest gifts.
Did you have such experiences? How have you realized your secrets of happiness?
